Actual label instructions on consumer goods?

1. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.


(and that%26#039;s the only time I have to work on my hair.)








2. On a bag of Fritos:


You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.


Details inside.


(the shoplifter special?)








3. On a bar of Dial soap:


%26quot;Directions: Use like regular soap.%26quot;


(and that would be how???....)








4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:


%26quot;Serving suggestion: Defrost.%26quot;


(but, it%26#039;s %26quot;just%26quot; a suggestion.)








5. On Tesco%26#039;s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):


Don %26#039;t turn upside down.%26quot;


(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)








6. On Marks %26amp;Spencer Bread Pudding:


%26quot;Product will be hot after heating.%26quot;


(...and you thought????...)








7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:


%26quot;Do not iron clothes on body.%26quot;


(but wouldn%26#039;t this save me more time?)








8. On Boot%26#039;s Children Cough Medicine:


%26quot;Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.%26quot;


(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get


those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)








9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:


%26quot;Warning: May cause drowsiness.%26quot;


(and... I%26#039;m taking this because???...)








10. On most brands of Christmas lights:


%26quot;For indoor or outdoor use only.%26quot;


(as opposed to... what?)





11. On a Japanese food processor:


%26quot;Not to be used for the other use.%26quot;


(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I%26#039;m a bit curious.)








12. On Sainsbury%26#039;s peanuts:


%26quot;Warning: contains nuts.%26quot;


(talk about a news flash)








13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:


%26quot;Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.%26quot;


(Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)








14. On a child%26#039;s superman costume:


%26quot;Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.%26quot;


(I don%26#039;t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)








15. On a Swedish chainsaw:


%26quot;Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.%26quot;


(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Actual label instructions on consumer goods?
Cute. Thanks for the laugh. :)
Reply:Oh, Scotia! These were such a scream! More than the Boo Boo instructions on the labels... I just loved your little remarks, they were awesome!!!
Reply:KOOL
Reply:just like bill engvall says we some stupid ppl in this world
Reply:I had read some of these before, but a lot of them I haven%26#039;t. Made me smile. :-)



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